Hungry No More

Though many who have read this blog may struggle to grasp it, I am (at present) a Pentecostal pastor in a traditional Pentecostal denomination. The first question that surfaces is most likely, “What is a nice Pentecostal preacher like you doing writing such things?” In other words, what could have happened to a fourth generation Pente to make him espouse such things as infant baptism and the real presence of Christ in communion?

I have answered that question in my own way in many posts but this time I want to make it clear and unequivocal.

For many years, I have felt in my heart that there was something more than what I had experienced. I was always after something…wanting a new experience! I called it revival for a long time. But even that was not really what I sought (or at least not in the form that I had seen it).

Back in 1987, a preacher friend and I set ourselves to seek God. What came out of that time of prayer was unexpected. It led me to compose a code of ministry that was more than a little strange. One of the most notable planks in that platform was a commitment to go beyond “our fathers” in response to what God has for us.

I remember at the time feeling that the meaning of that phrase would unfold in time and that I had no idea where I might end up because of that statement. I was certain then, however, that I would always be Pente.

As time moved on, I finally ended up in my denominational seminary. That would not be odd at all except that it was there that I came in contact with the men who would change my life. These men were the Church Fathers. One of my professors introduced these men to me in a class about doctrinal history.

Of course, at the time, I read them with curiosity and always kept my distance from their “catholic” ideas. Strange thing about these holy men was that once you get hold of them, they get a hold on you.

I wrestled with the ideas they presented to me. I struggled but finally just dropped them and withdrew sullenly into the Pente realm. I would have been perfectly happy there had it not been for the continued, gnawing sensation that “something is missing.”

Then several years back I was drawn once again to look at the Church Fathers. As I read them and came to understand their historical and theological significance, I was awakened to truths I had missed. I started seeing them not as curious, proto-Catholic kooks but as God-guided, Spirit-led fathers.

This led me to consider my previous aversion to all things Catholic and to realize that if I was going to avoid catholic teaching I would be forced to abandon the very un-Protestant Early Church. My choice came down to trusting someone in the 1500’s or the early 1900’s OR trusting the disciples of the Apostles and their successors. Truthfully, it was not really a hard choice at all!

Suddenly I discovered that the hunger that had distressed me for so long was completely satiated. What I was really hungry for was the authentic Christianity of the Apostles, not the hyped-up puffery of the Pentes. There was something satisfying and sustaining in discovering the fullness of the Church. What I had searched for was right in front of me all along.

Eventually, it dawned on me what the ominous words from 1987 had meant. And while I know what they mean now, I have not fully come to grips with what they will mean in the future.