When I Went in Search of The Church

After discovering the Fathers of the Church, my next question was, “Now, what do I do with the information.” I had found them satisfying and (sadly) far different from anything I had heretofore experienced in the Church realm. That was the problem. It seemed that the Church had actually vanished and would never reappear—but I knew that could not be the truth. I believed the words of the Lord Jesus Christ that He was building His Church and the gates of Hades could not prevail. So where was this church that Jesus built?

That question became the driving force behind my journey. I had already discerned that the Pentecostal denomination of which I was a part was not it. How did I come to that conclusion? I will note the reasons:

1. Started in late 1800's by which time all of the Apostles were dead.
2. Taught doctrines not consonant with Apostolic and Patristic teaching

My earnest search began. Since I had come to see the early Church was undeniably liturgical, I was drawn to the more liturgical expressions of Christianity. I knew without doubt that the ECUSA was not what I was looking for. They had women bishops, women priests, practicing homosexual priests and (finally) practicing homosexual bishops. As we saw in the posts on homosexuality and women in ministry, this stance was in direct contradiction to the stated policy and practice of the Early Church. So my search continued.

I next discovered the Pentecostal version of Anglicanism. This church attempted to combine the ancient with the charismatic and quite frankly, it worked about as well as one would expect such an amalgam to. However, their success or failure was not the problem that came to the fore for me. Instead, the historical problem I had with the Pentes was cropping up again with an additional historical problem that I had not previously encountered.

The whole idea of Anglicanism began because of one man’s desire to do something the Catholic Church would not allow him to do. The adulterous old king, Henry VIII, decided to break away and start the Anglican Church with himself as the head. Anything with this type of auspicious start should have been suspect all along. But for some reason, it didn’t really occur to me at first. After some time, however, it became impossible to deny both sides of the historical problem and I was forced to journey on in order to find The Church.

Incredibly, I began looking very earnestly at the one place that I had been most loath to look: the Roman Catholic Church. Coming up Protestant and Pente meant that I had come up anti-Catholic. We were taught that the Pope was the False Prophet who would aid the Antichrist in setting up his One-World Church. We were taught that they worshipped Mary and were just generally idolatrous, neo-Pagan heathens who were certain to populate the domains of the lowest Hell for eternity.

With those ideas firmly entrenched and having myself propounded at least portions of them to others, I was certainly never going to become Catholic. And yet…I found myself looking that way in a serious manner.

Why I am I using the past tense? Because things have changed.

I have moved from being a totally convinced Pente to “thinking-about-being-Catholic” Pente. The big question is why am I now not even considering the Roman Catholic Church? What turned me from the Catholic Church?

It must be remembered that what started me looking was reading the Fathers. Thus, they quickly became my guidebook to the Early Church. What I saw in modern Catholicism, while resembling the Fathers in some ways, was markedly dissimilar in other ways.

The Fathers respected the Bishop of Rome but they did not conceive of him as the Head of the Church. They viewed all the Bishops as the inheritors of the Promise of Primacy given to the Apostle Peter (as well as the other Apostles). I started seeing that while the Catholic Church had started out right, somewhere along the way they had veered from the Church and its ancient foundation. (This is not the place for a detailed discussion of this but there are plenty of websites that tell the story well.)

So if I couldn’t be Protestant Pente, Charismatic or Otherwise Episcopal or Catholic, what could I be? Is there anything else? I had viewed the whole “Christian” world as either Protestant or Catholic. There were only two choices and actually only one if a person wanted to “make it to heaven.” That is illustrative of my abysmal ignorance!

What I soon discovered (by the help and grace of God) was that the ancient Church, the Apostolic Church was still around and remarkably vital. It was just to be found in a place I never thought to look: The Orthodox Church. Once I found it, I knew it was the answer to all my questions and ultimately the end of my journey to find The Church.

Hungry No More

Though many who have read this blog may struggle to grasp it, I am (at present) a Pentecostal pastor in a traditional Pentecostal denomination. The first question that surfaces is most likely, “What is a nice Pentecostal preacher like you doing writing such things?” In other words, what could have happened to a fourth generation Pente to make him espouse such things as infant baptism and the real presence of Christ in communion?

I have answered that question in my own way in many posts but this time I want to make it clear and unequivocal.

For many years, I have felt in my heart that there was something more than what I had experienced. I was always after something…wanting a new experience! I called it revival for a long time. But even that was not really what I sought (or at least not in the form that I had seen it).

Back in 1987, a preacher friend and I set ourselves to seek God. What came out of that time of prayer was unexpected. It led me to compose a code of ministry that was more than a little strange. One of the most notable planks in that platform was a commitment to go beyond “our fathers” in response to what God has for us.

I remember at the time feeling that the meaning of that phrase would unfold in time and that I had no idea where I might end up because of that statement. I was certain then, however, that I would always be Pente.

As time moved on, I finally ended up in my denominational seminary. That would not be odd at all except that it was there that I came in contact with the men who would change my life. These men were the Church Fathers. One of my professors introduced these men to me in a class about doctrinal history.

Of course, at the time, I read them with curiosity and always kept my distance from their “catholic” ideas. Strange thing about these holy men was that once you get hold of them, they get a hold on you.

I wrestled with the ideas they presented to me. I struggled but finally just dropped them and withdrew sullenly into the Pente realm. I would have been perfectly happy there had it not been for the continued, gnawing sensation that “something is missing.”

Then several years back I was drawn once again to look at the Church Fathers. As I read them and came to understand their historical and theological significance, I was awakened to truths I had missed. I started seeing them not as curious, proto-Catholic kooks but as God-guided, Spirit-led fathers.

This led me to consider my previous aversion to all things Catholic and to realize that if I was going to avoid catholic teaching I would be forced to abandon the very un-Protestant Early Church. My choice came down to trusting someone in the 1500’s or the early 1900’s OR trusting the disciples of the Apostles and their successors. Truthfully, it was not really a hard choice at all!

Suddenly I discovered that the hunger that had distressed me for so long was completely satiated. What I was really hungry for was the authentic Christianity of the Apostles, not the hyped-up puffery of the Pentes. There was something satisfying and sustaining in discovering the fullness of the Church. What I had searched for was right in front of me all along.

Eventually, it dawned on me what the ominous words from 1987 had meant. And while I know what they mean now, I have not fully come to grips with what they will mean in the future.