1. Why did the father ask people to pray for his daughter? Coming from our tradition that would be absolutely ludicrous.
2. Why did the lady feel the need to make it so clear that she was not going to pray for the daughter, knowing this father had only hours earlier found his daughter after her suicide?
The reason I bring up this story at all is to segue into a discussion of prayers for the departed. I have taken two blogs to think about praying to the departed but what about praying for those who have departed?
There are some things that need to be stated immediately:
1. Nowhere does Scripture forbid us from praying for the departed.
2. There are no Christian churches or denominations (that I’m aware of) that believe that prayers for the departed can change their eternal destiny which was decided by them in life (that’s right—not even Roman Catholics).
There are two places in Scripture that indicate that prayer for the departed was practiced. The first is found in II Maccabees 12: 40-45 where Judas prays for his comrades in arms who have been killed in the battle that their sins might be forgiven. The second one is in II Timothy 1: 16-18 in which St. Paul prays for Onesiphorus.
The Lord give mercy unto the house of Onesiphorus; for he oft refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain: But, when he was in Rome, he sought me out very diligently, and found me. The Lord grant unto him that he may find mercy of the Lord in that day: and in how many things he ministered unto me at Ephesus, thou knowest very well. (2 Timothy 1:16-18)
The house of Onesiphorus is also greeted in 2 Timothy 4: 19. From these passages it would seem that Onesiphorus is deceased and the Apostle prays from him to fin mercy of the Lord in the Day of Judgment. Some argue that he cannot be dead because Paul is praying for him (see for example Albert Barnes’ Notes on the Bible). This, however, is circular reasoning. These verses provide us a vague hint on an idea that will come to fruition in the writings of the Early Church.
Let us look first at the epitaph of a believer named Abercius written by him prior to 216 A.D.
"The citizen of a chosen city, this [monument] I made [while] living, that there I might have in time a resting-place of my body, [I] being by name Abercius, the disciple of a holy shepherd who feeds flocks of sheep [both] on mountains and on plains, who has great eyes that see everywhere….These things I, Abercius, having been a witness [of them] told to be written here. Verily I was passing through my seventy-second year. He that discerneth these things, every fellow-believer [namely], let him pray for Abercius.” [http://www.heiligenlexikon.de/CatholicEncyclopedia/Abericus_Marcellus.html]
Tertullian in speaking of a wife who has lost her husband outlines what here duties toward the departed would be in his treatise On Monogamy.
Indeed, she prays for his soul, and requests refreshment for him meanwhile, and fellowship (with him) in the first resurrection; and she offers (her sacrifice) on the anniversaries of his falling asleep. [ANF 4: 67, ch. X]
St. Cyril of Jerusalem in his Catechetical Lectures speaks of the benefit of praying for the departed.
Then on behalf also of the Holy Fathers and Bishops who have fallen asleep before us, and in a word of all who in past years have fallen asleep among us, believing that it will be a very great benefit to the souls, for whom the supplication is put up, while that holy and most awful sacrifice is set forth. [NPNF 2-07: 153-4, Lecture XXIII]
Saint John Chrysostom gives us a lengthy exposition on 1 Corinthians 15 that has direct bearing on the subject at hand.
But grant that he departed with sin upon him, even on this account one ought to rejoice, that he was stopped short in his sins and added not to his iniquity; and help him as far as possible, not by tears, but by prayers and supplications and alms and offerings. For not unmeaningly have these things been devised, nor do we in vain make mention of the departed in the course of the divine mysteries, and approach God in their behalf, beseeching the Lamb Who is before us, Who taketh away the sin of the world;—not in vain, but that some refreshment may thereby ensue to them. Not in vain doth he that standeth by the altar cry out when the tremendous mysteries are celebrated, “For all that have fallen asleep in Christ, and for those who perform commemorations in their behalf” For if there were no commemorations for them, these things would not have been spoken: since our service is not a mere stage show, God forbid! yea, it is by the ordinance of the Spirit that these things are done.
Let us then give them aid and perform commemoration for them. For if the children of Job were purged by the sacrifice of their father, why dost thou doubt that when we too offer for the departed, some consolation arises to them? since God is wont to grant the petitions of those who ask for others. And this Paul signified saying, “that in a manifold Person your gift towards us bestowed by many may be acknowledged with thanksgiving on your behalf.” Let us not then be weary in giving aid to the departed, both by offering on their behalf and obtaining prayers for them: for the common Expiation of the world is even before us. Therefore with boldness do we then intreat for the whole world, and name their names with those of martyrs, of confessors, of priests. For in truth one body are we all, though some members are more glorious than others; and it is possible from every source to gather pardonfor them, from our prayers, from our gifts in their behalf, from those whose names are named with theirs. Why therefore dost thou grieve? Why mourn, when it is in thy power to gather so much pardon for the departed? [NPNF 1-12: 253-4, Homily XLI]
In his Homilies on Philippians, St. John Chrysostom gives us an interesting piece of information about the prayers for the dead.
Not in vain did the Apostles order that remembrance should be made of the dead in the dreadful Mysteries. [NPNF 1-13: 197, Homily III]
Not only does he say that we should commemorate the dead in the Eucharistic service, but that this was given as a command of the Apostles. Whether we accept his word for it or not, it does say a lot about the practice of the Church in John Chrysostom’s time.
The Early Christian apologist Arnobius of Sicca (died c. 330) wrote on the same subject in his Seven Books of Arnobius against the Heathen.
For why, indeed, have our writings deserved to be given to the flames? our meetings to be cruelly broken up, in which prayer is made to the Supreme God, peace and pardon are asked for all in authority, for soldiers, kings, friends, enemies, for those still in life, and those freed from the bondage of the flesh; in which all that is said is such as to make men humane, gentle, modest, virtuous, chaste, generous in dealing with their substance, and inseparably united to all embraced in our brotherhood? [ANF 6: 488, ch. XXXVI]
In his moving funeral oration for his brother Satyrus, St. Ambrose of Milan prays as follows:
And now to Thee, Almighty God, I commend this guileless soul, to Thee I offer my sacrifice; accept favourably and mercifully the gift of a brother, the offering of a priest. I offer beforehand these first libations of myself. [NPNF 2-10:173, bk. I, ch. 80]
These few examples amply illustrate that the early believers held that praying for their departed brothers was possible and beneficial. In much the same way as praying to the departed saints, one might view this as something which, if indeed it can confer some benefit, should possibly not be neglected since it most certainly is not forbidden.
